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At the end of the night a __man leaves the bar. __Outside he sees a nun. He walks over to her and __slaps her in the face. __Then he punches her in the stomach and knocks __her over. ____He proceeds to kick her several times and when he's __done he bends down __to her and says, "not so tough tonight, are you __Batman?"
A fellow decides to __take __off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes ____at three in the morning, at which time he is extremely drunk. After ____leaving the bar, he returns home on foot.____When he enters his __house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes __off his shoes and __starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the __stairs though, he __falls over backwards and lands flat on his back. That __wouldn't __have been so bad, except that he had couple of empty pint __bottles in __his back pockets, and they broke; the broken glass carved up his ____back terribly. Yet, he was so drunk that he didn't know he was __hurt.____A few minutes later, as he was undressing, he noticed blood, so he ____checked himself out in the mirror, and, sure enough, his behind was __cut up __terribly. He then repaired the damage as best he could under __the __circumstances, and he went to bed. ____The next morn__ ing, his head was hurting, his back was hurting, and he __was __hunkering under the covers trying to think up some good story, when __his __wife came into the bedroom. ____"Well, you really tied one on last __night," she said. "Where'd you __go?" ____"I worked late," he __said, "and I stopped off for a couple of __beers." ____"A couple of __beers? That's a laugh," she replied. "You got __plastered last __night. Where did you go?" ____"What makes you so sure I got drunk last __night, anyway?" ____"Well," she replied, "my first big clue was when __I got up this __morning and found a bunch of band-aids stuck to the __mirror."
An angry wife was __complaining __about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night __he __took her along.__"What'll ya have?" he asked.__"Oh, I __don't know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied.__So the husband __ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in __one __gulp.__His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately ____spit it out. "Yuck, that's nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I don't ____know how you can drink this stuff!"__"Well, there you go," cried __the husband. "And you think I'm out __enjoying myself every __night!"
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Good Little Kitty - Funny Pet Jokes, Humor, Music Comedy!
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